Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY!

Knock out,she's the awesomest deskmate who deals with my vanity every single day.Thank you for being there and puttin up with me.Thank you for the support.

And God sent two angels to me,and one of them was you!

Jenny makes my day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,NEW GIRL!

The birthday girl and her sad bashes.

Yeah just like my previous post,I should be happy for whatever reason it is for because it is my:

MY BIRTHDAY

But then I feel like I'm so depressed.Hard to believe,yes.But last night when it was 10pm,when my aunty came along and she gave me the biggest hug imagined and squezzed a hundred dollar note into my palm.And I refuted that.I don't want money,I want love.I want to be able to put the love God blessed me with to use and share it with one person.That one person I care about.But with my sincere thank you's,I backed out and went back to my room and threw that money on my bed.Money's not going to get me anywhere.I just wanted a heart to hold.To call it mine.So I hang around witha smile on my face.Yes I was happy,I wondered what surprises I'd get.All perked up to turn sixteen(This is when I cry out loud and tell you people I will get my driver's license sooner!)

So I bring my iPod to my room,and that when I got real emo.I don't know why,so punch me.Its not my fault.I am a fragile soul,nothing you can do about it.Nothing.So I continued the normal routine,I was in the midst of my third season of 'How I met your mother'

By the way did you know BARNEY actually,finally had sex with ROBIN??

So I watched two episodes in a row and I was tempted enough to press play for the third one but I was too tired.I watched the clock tick and I waited.I had messages poured in.Not exactly poured but what the hell.So its Jia Kai who sends a really nice birthday message and then Calvin with'Happy Birthday lil sista'.Seriously that boy has been messing around with Jay-Z's in KL.But I didnt get that one important call.That one who would have possibly stopped the tears.But I dont know why so I cried.12am-that was the first cry.

I drifted of to sleep,The hot tears that burnt evaporated and I felt horrified.I dreamt last night,a very confusing one.I was searching for someone,something somewhere.Alone.

And thats when I woke up,2am.And I cried again and moaned back to sleep.What was birthday anyway.Nothing.Not a speck of dust.Like it had no meaning.I wanted to force a fist on my face.Why cry when you turn sixteen?Why cry when you know if you live in America,you'd get a car now?[Okay.Maybe thats not the point]But it still made no sense.Why cry when you're going to have a great party?Why cry when your mother actually came in shortly before 12am and kissed you Happy Birthday?Why cry when you know you have a great elder brother who was the first one to call you and wish you?Why the sorrow.

School was fun yes.Thank you,science two.You made my day,but sorry to say it wasn't whole.To my deskmate Jenny,who never fails to be there and she heard it out.And I guess she's right,I am expecting too much.The world is never mine to own.Amd why the hell come back home and cry again?

I know why I cried.I know why I forced those tears out and why I never gave them a chance to stop.They wanted to.But I can't say it out here.Not here.Never.Cause they won't plaster their mouths and seal it.Then they'll be a new influenza.Screw H1N1.

Someone close down the schools in Ipoh too.People here have immune systems as well.

See my problem?I'm still joking but thats all for now.Thanks for the eyes,they read my miserable day.

Heh

AND SO IT IS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!

I just dont feel like it.

Holidays(:

Home?

So I have left the city of Ipoh and made it down to Singapore.All on one long journey with grandma by my side.I promised not to sleep and I did.Doesn't count on the whole I want to love this journey crap does it.

So while I'm crying out loud in excitement.

She's back (:

( I promised Calvin,I'd put his picture out-Am I not the best cousin ever??-)

I admit,it has been a pretty long time since I've blogged.Time I did something worthwhile-than studying.I think my last post was when the LAST exam ended-according to Ms Bianca Mah.

So after todays bickering about me not updating my blog,I decided to do something.(I want Eunice and Bianca to start jumping now !)-Heh-Yes,back to me,exams this time were okay.Lets make it sound easy.It was hell.I wish I studied more.But I studied my hardest.If it doesn't work out,guess I have to study harder.

[Kononnya,I'm trying to talk positive]

And I promise,to be a better blogger and blog more (:

I hope !

SOMEONE MAKE ME SMILEY ! ( :

I TOLD YOU HE WOULD WIN.

KRIS ALLEN snagged it from Lambert,baby !

Exams are finally over.

Gah.Yes my exams are finally over.No more caffeine.I actually hate COFFEE

Before I continue.Needa say something to Miss Bianca Mah.

I promised to write about you on my blog and here goes.Oh for screaming out loud,its only 10 cents.You dont need to pay back.

Do I really go BANANAS for Kris Allen?

And Fiona,he doesn't look like Brad Pitt.So sorry your Adam Lambert cried.He's so very emotional isn't he now?

Back to where I was,the exams were uhmm..I have no words to describe it.It just gets on my nerves when things that I memorise and thoroughly ready through dont come out.I mean what the hell.Ishh.And out Physics teacher,the one with the 'sexy' voice didn't teach us Inertia and the whole form blanked out.Physics was the worst.Malay was ok.English was so freaking easy.History was ok.Moral was maddening.Chemistry and Bio was fun.Add math and Math was okay.I dont know how I'm gonna survive.But I will.Oh yeah,I'm confused with accounts.

I was so filled up with facts that when I went to church for a dance rehearsal.I kept saying debit and credits when I danced.And my friends were like 'Oh she's taking accounts'.

I need to get out and I'm so free I dont know what to do.Ish.*yawns*.

It was a long day for me.Its gonna be longer tomorrow.In love with 'Vulnerable' by Secondhand Serenade.

Gah.Sleeps.

First 50 posts.

FIRE DRILLS.

Yes,I'm hating those annoying fire drills.One thing though,if my school burns down,I'd be the genius who's bring her things along.Yes,even my add maths book.What with the teachers and their hate for bringing your belongings when the school burns down.Its IMPORTANT.

Ha,anyway.yeah we had to do this FIRE DRILL TWICE.Cause Mrs Lee wasnt happy with the first one.I think she wanted us to panic and start screaming and running and pulling each others skirts and hair.I guess Mrs Lee wanted us to do that.Oh well.My English teacher was pretty pissed with it.You should see her face.She was so effing frustrated.Haha.

BIOLOGY WAS NOT VERY FUN.

Cause me and Fiona's little experiments didnt work.We had to do like two experiments before trying the third time which was almost a failure.And then one of our very inconsiderate classmates stole Rena's retort stand.Talk about major piss off.

Finally our experiment did work.But we had no time to finish it so we ha dto throw everythign away and I wasn't really myself yesterday.Gah.Hopefully,our experiments will work the next time.Dont know whether the teacher will be nice enough to let us try again.Ha.She doesnt care anyway.

Yes,I still hate my freaking bio teacher.

*You can sue me all you want dear 'QUEEN' of bio.But I have 41 other students backing me up on this.Ha.You can kiss yoruself goodbye.

Radha just came on.Needa talk to my cousin sister for a while.Chao.

MY NAME TOKEN.

Strength :Treats others the way she wants to be treated.

Emotional :She's a charmer.Men adore her.

Physical :Can do almost anything.

Meaning of her name :Sword

Character :Very thoughtful.

Don't even try to rethink.Gosh.Its true what they say about me.Haha.Oh well,thanks Grandma!I'm so proud of myself.I think I'm the nicest person on earth.Haha.And yes I am,just so you know.Although I'm trying to figure out what they meant by saying that men adore me.

LET ME KNOW.HAHA.

I SO LOVE CHOCOLATES.

I oh so love chocolates.Their so good to me.They treat me right.They shower me with happiness.They make me feel so wanted.They love me cause I look like chocolate too.

Ok.WTF.I love talking about chocolates right now.

Chocolates are good,

Chocolates are nice,

Chocolates are not food,

Sometimes shaped in a dice.

Chocolates can be fresh,

Chocolates can be rotten,

Chocolates need cash,

Or they'll be forgotten.

Err.Okay.I was a bit nuts for a while there.I need chocolates.They are my DRUGS.Who need heroin or marijuana when you have chocolates.So smokers,dont smoke.Just eat chocolates.Ha.

For a babe.

I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS OF YOU.

I DONT LIKE THE WAY GOD ARRANGED
THE CONTINENTS

THINKING OF YOU

gah

SCHOOL IS NOT COOL

MY HEADER SAYS IT ALL.

So I was sick today.It never leaves me.I suck in my accounts but I'm starting tuition this Sunday.Oh well.That means I'll have to carry my church stuff all the way to tuition in Judy's house.Oh wait.

How is that a bad thing?

So Evon didnt let me go.

And she kept looking for me in class the whole day.

'I NEED YOU BRENDA!WHERE ARE YOU?'

Haha.And I was right there lying down on the table hoping she wouldnt see.But she spotted me.And I'm doomed.

For Civics,the subject that civilised people study to be civilised even more.Haha.I am playing a part of a guy hitting on my secretary in the office and I caught my wife with her ex-boyfriend from high school.

Yeah,so guessed it.The story line was from me.At biology,it wasn't out turn to present the active transport part for plasmas membranes.I didn tread much of it.I have to.I will.Yes you know me.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER.

Haha.My parents are secretly looking for houses.They just went out to see the showhouse.Oh well.I'd rather not be inquisitive.But curiousity kills the cat.My history presentation was interesting today.The teacher taught it was good.

Cashvin made it to live shows on television.Silently screams (I VOTED FOR HIS BAND A HUNDRED TIMES)

WHERE'S MY OREOCHEESE CAKE?

No.I cant seem to eat anyway.Probably when I get down to Singapore my hunger pangs will come back again.Good ol' grandma will be here tomorrow morning.Yay!

Although its a bit depressing to hear that one of my cousin brothers,Eddie(havent met him) died in a car accident.And I couldnt even make it to the funeral.I dont really wanna talk about it though.

Thats all for now.I have Add Math class tomorrow.

AND I SUPER LOVE ADD MATH LIKE CRAZY!

Yes,I know what your thinking.

(This girl is nuts)

Blah.Bye then.

Valentine

HAPPY VALENTINES JUDY MARIE!

Dedicated to the bestest friend ever.Wurve you.

xD.

Ha.

HE IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO EFFING GORGEOUS.

CALVIN AND LAURELLE,

For your information,I DO NOT have a time machine so it could take us back to our Christmas late nights.Talking and playing the Irish Drinking song,playing pranks on our siblings.Locking them out the door and mimicking cartoon characters.No more yelling who gets the PSP and handphones.Or Mommy's iPhone.No more Ferrero Rochers and Turkish Delights.No more Uncle Tony's Santa Claus of gifts.No more yelling 'YISHBEE!'.And no more drawing on Bianca's face.No more sipping rum,making faces or hunting down people on Friendster.No more of Calvin driving and assuming he is gonna kill us.

No more spoiling Cashvin's sleep.No more talking about our crazy parents.No more throwing pillows at each other.No more Famous Amos on my clean bedroom floor.No more fighting for who loves Betsy most,no more taking credit for everything,no more putting unknown people's names in Brenda's handphone.No more trying to check Brenda's messages.No more hitting guitars on each other.No more destroying the Christmas tree.No more talking about our grandmother.

No more kicking clothes around.No more heavily sugared cakes which extra icing sugars.No more guitaring and singing late at night.No more gossiping about our friends.No more saying 'We missed watching Titanic'.No more flying storybooks.No more reading Brenda's twilight collection in the bathroom.No more saying 'I found two Ferrero Rochers on Brenda's Lancome Paris perfume'

No more pulling Brenda's,Cashvin's,Calvin's or Radha's hair except Bianca and Rekha.No more late night Tv and figuring out how to play Wi-Fi's.No more crazy jokes.No more hiding Calvin's iTrip.No more checking Calvin's messages.No more pulling shorts.No more pouring pond water on Bianca.No more stuffing newspapers into Bianca's christmas presents.No more screaming kids.No more ice-cream when its cold.No more sad poetry.

No more 'Arsenal is going to win!Goal!'.No more playing with Mommy's iPhone.No more 'Results,Brenda,results!'.No more of Brenda banging her head.No more bruising Brenda.No more anniversary cakes and surprises.No more eating in cafes.No more talking about Edward Cullen.No more of Bryan acting holy.No more 'OMG!I LOVE YOUR SHOES!'.No more Damien Rice and Elton John stories.

No more straightening hair.No more pulling Cashvin's hair.No more saying Calvin and Cashvin look like girls.No more 'The day the earth stood still is the lamest movie I've seen'.No more pranking.No more late night theatre.No more 'Why doesnt freaking Malaysia have salted popcorn'.No more Prosperity Burgers.No more kicking chairs in midnight mass.No more giggling.No more looking at idiots who look at us.No more noisy high heels.No more snoring.No more making fun of gay people.No more bad words.

No more kicking each others arses.No more spitting.No more talking to dogs or fishes.No more punching teddy bears.No more flying helicopters.No more looking into people's Msn.No more drinking beer or shandy or any alchoholic substance.No more playing with car engines.No more destroying Brenda's piano.

xx

But I do miss you loverly people.

The Sebastians are the greatest.Sighs.I miss you guys.

When I saw you,
I was afraid to admire you,
When I admired you,
I was afraid I'd like you,
When I liked you,
I was afraid to love you,
Now that I love you,
I am afraid to lose you

LAURELLE RADHA IS FOLLOWING THE FOOTSTEPS OF HER ELDER SISTER.(YES THATS ME)

We are great writes arent we now?

Happy Valentines,my darling.

Lots of love from your ever greatest adviser\cousin,
Brenda.

Yes the Sebastians rule baby!

Laurelle says:
haha...big sis? nah..rather more of a gud true bstie
the seBESTIEans rule da world of the bests ppl

Brenda:
Like hell yes.I miss our Christmas reunion.

=(

I'm trying not to think.

but I can't help but to realize its VALENTINES

I don't know why I feel depressed.Its weird.Just heard some things thats not very comfortable to hear and I only feel like saying it out to a few people I trust.But I feel a little distant cause they are busy I guess.But know if its important for them to stay busy,they should you know.I'm never the kind who stop my loved ones from doing what they need to do.Being at home isnt all that interesting.Cause my Valentine would be the textbooks and pencils.

I wrote this very angry poem yesterday.Mind you,some of my poems never rhyme:

You said you'll be here,
How would I know,
If you went to see her,
I'd rather let you go.

I'm not here to play,
But my heart is stuck on you,
I'm having such a bad day,
Wondering if you'd ever be true.

In you eyes its guilt I see,
You say you love me,
But how could you say that,
When you see my eyes rejecting.

I tried so hard to move away,
I tries so hard to forget your face,
But some how you make me stay,
Even if I run at fast pace.

But know that I'm so into you,
This words are true,
I'm afraid to lose you,
And the rose I wanted,
would never bloom anew.

MAJOR LOL.

The hustle and bustle of 'Keira College' was too much for the year.Bella and her friend were cheekily annoying each other with the circumstances of long holiday breaks.Some were thinner than usual,some were developing an amount of kilos,some of them had their hair coloured and braided,each telling a beautiful story.

Bella remained to play plain Jane,she was before the summer break,ever sos tunning witha gorgeous body(leng lui).Her objective for the year was to complete graduation and serve in Dallas.Biology was running through her blood.When she was in Biology,entered through the scrumpy door was Edward Cullen,a stunning 'cheesecake' with green pupils telling a novel of mysteriousness about himself.

My mom gave this to her students.Haha.

Forget about it ,Brenda

Tomorrow's Valentine.

Dateless.Or not.

I don't know.

I still have school tomorrow.
I still have to see the damned teachers.
I still have to sit in class.
I still have to be sick.
I still have to think my mind out.
I still have to write my poem.
I still have to try not to doubt.
I still love(...)

Oh well.Happy Valentine's to all love birds out there.Ha.

I think I'm done here.

See the irony of it?I'm bragging again.

Shit.I have to stop.I know I make them jealous.

Oh well,I need to study.I keep saying this but I'm still here.I love this really sweet sweet song.Makes my heart melt.I need to choose a song that goes well with me.I gotta plan something.Maybe write my own.

SOMEONE HELP

Yes my BIO teacher is a pain.

And NO!I DID NOT UNDERSTAND A WORD SHE THOUGHT TODAY.

Except frown with Fiona and chant:

"Rena,you dumped us.She dumped us!'

Yes mommy,I will try to concentrate but I'm getting sicker and sicker.I need to do well in my exam next month dammit.

Study,Brenda,Study.Get your mind straight.I need to get out of this country soon.I dont wanna stay here.Lets get out of here,dear suitcases,jackets and sneakers.

I ADMIT,I'M A BIT HIGH NOW,I MISSED MY WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY GAME SHOW

AND I OH SO LOVE THAT BLOODY FUNNY COMEDIAN,RYAN STILES.

GAH.WHY LORD WHY?

School was a pain today.I couldnt pay attention because my nose was being an arse and my throat was getting dry no matter how much of Crysanthemum tea I drink,hell,its not gonna work!The girl next to me had to make it worse by sneezing and sneezing until I had to so.

'Hey,my nose is a teeny weeny bit sensitive,could you sneeze somewhere else?'

Ha.I tried my best to stay calm and then went our for recess.Ate my noodles,hardly could taste it anyway.Things were quiet until Bio class where all our nuisances became noticeable.

*Sorry dear classmates,we were being so inconsiderate*

Hell,I think I prefer the book to talk to me than the teacher who takes a whole minute to tell me what a lignin is.

Yes teacher,I 'm wondering where your brains came from.

Sincerely,
The student that hates you.

TOKIO HOTEL TOLD ME TOO:

'SCREAM!UNTIL YOU FEEL IT!'

And then they said:

'I'll scream through the night for you,we'll make it through,don't jump'

BRENDA IS LOST IN TRANSLATION-VERY LOST

As long as she lives.She wont get away with it.No.

Bryan gets his way too-all the time*smacks my ass*

Rohaan gets his way sometimes *smiles*

No way.No way.No way.

Let me tell you one thing.Heck I am not doing form 6.Nah ah.I am not doing freaking form 6.But I need to get away from National Service.I wanna get out of Malaysia soon.Someone kidnap me and take me awaaaaayyyyyyy.And then we can sing Enrique's 'Away'

Damn his nasal voice.But damn he's hot.

*SCREAMS*

Blah.

For screaming out loud,Yes I need to SCREAM.

SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT.Oh gosh,why does life have to be so sucky.

Anyway,going out for PINK PANTHER today.Thats the whole reason I'm writing in pink.Haha.I need to finish up homeworks before I go,well I've done a few.

A FEW IS NOT ENOUGH!ITS NOT ENOUGH!

Bit pissed with a few things.Lets not name it in a public blog.Anyway,yes that is my babe the Ipod Classic,keeps me sane,keeps me singing,keeps my head from banging into walls.Yes it is the iPOD.Ha.

My love poem-For literature.

The moon floats above me,
Among the millions of stars,
I picked the brightest one,
And there you were,
Looking into your eyes,
I feel like I’m back home again,
And my world is complete.

I feel so protected,
When you gather me in your arms,
Because that’s where I belong.
When the nights are dark and stormy,
I’ll be there with you through it all,
I will reach out and take your hand,
And I’ll come to you

I always tried to find a road to believing,
Never knew I’d meet you,
He came along and tore my heart apart,
Until you came along and fixed those pieces,
I could suddenly dream again,
Because now when I wake up,
I know its real fantasy.

You keep my heart beating,
When I know your heart is mine to love,
The worlds may be against you,
But I’m going to be there fighting with you,
Like an apple hanging from the tree,
You picked the ripest one for me,
But you’re the best for me.

You made me understand,
You made me listen,
Yesterday the world was dead to me,
But now I’m back again,
Living my life the way I should be,
You leave me breathless,
Because when I see you,I realize all my dreams came true




I know I'm crazy.HAHA.

HAHAHA=)

It has been agessssssss since I've blogged.I didnt blog about Bali.I didnt blog about Christmas and also my PMR results.

Bali was AWESOME baby!But I think most of the stuff I bought there was clothes clothes clothes.My dad spent 1,432,000.60(in rupiah).Haha.On clothes alone.So yeah.Practically all Balinese people are Hindu-Buddhist.They have their bath with fishes,Yes I did say fishes.They are pretty friendly especially to Bryan cause he knows how to sing this Indonesian song called 'Samson Betawi' which sounds like 'Camcen Cecawi' WHEN he says it.

Christ mas was AWESOME-ER!!This time around we had my uncle from New York and Australia down.Martin and Tony.And Martin brought his kids.So my house was a circus when it clashed with the circuses in my house AKA Bianca,Bryan,Me,Calvin,Cashvin and Martins kids,Radha,Rekha,Rivya and Rohaan.And this time Christmas was rather high tech.My presents were:

From Martin:

Lancome Paris perfume
Two New York shirts

From Tony:

New Nokia 6500 slide for a handphone*screams*

From Papa and Mummy:

An Ipod Classic(YISHBEE!)

From Chris and Angie:

A lovely lovely shirt and the amount of love they give me(priceless)

Judy:

Super hawt notebooks I love.

And the rest is history.I forgot.

So that was christmas other than my mom getting a freaking iPhone!And most of the other cousins landed with a PSP.Wi-Fi games.GAMEKINGS.Oh god.Christmas was so so so so AWESOME.AWESOME.AWESOME.

And the pranks we played on Bianca.Damn.Late night talking.Although only Calvin and Radha made it through(haha).And got my hair screwed up in Chilli Saloon but I wasnt the only one that was pissed,so was Cal and Cash who have been growing their hair.

And they are not girls.Stop saying that.

And yessssssss.My PMR results.On my results day trust me I was so so sleepy I ended up getting there an hour late.Considering I was promised a 1000 bucks from two uncles,I was keeping my hands crossed.I WASNT NERVOUS.Really I wasnt nervous at all.Dont know why.Even getting 6A'S and a B didnt matter but when I got there and checked my result.Hamsiah,my class teacher kept panicking me.And then I got my 7'AS.

I jumped once or twice and when i was walking out I was like.'So?'.So what if I aced.Oh well.I should be grateful anyway.

So just because of my aced results,I received $2750.Awesome.Haha.

When I got to school,I got in to 4s5 then 4s2.So Im just doing my work to ace my other tests.But I sware,add math is so so easy.Haha.I think.

Gotta go now.The Nanny's playing.

Gah.

=)